June 10, 2010

How honest should you really be?

I wouldn't want to reply to a question with an answer that is not true, but I don't want to bear all with everyone either.

I have been thinking about this a lot. Avoiding conversations or averting the question doesn't strike me as the way to go either.

There has to be a balance, I'm sure. I know lots of people who won't share something remotely revealing of who they are with someone. But, when they do share something, their honesty validates a friendship and therefore they are appreciated more for it.

Would you really appreciate someones honesty if you always expected it? Maybe the word "honesty" implies that I'm saying you are dishonest by not sharing the depth of you. That isn't true either. Everyone appreciates someone who is comfortable enough to be real and express it through words and actions. But its a rare thing when you find someone who is so willing.

But isn't it just itching inside of you? To be so honest you share exactly that; honestly how are you and honestly what are your thoughts? I find that a burden is lifted when I honestly share my life with others. Recently though, I have discovered some setbacks. For the first time in a long time, I don't want to be honest with people.

What about that line, "I was just being honest". Is honesty appreciated always? I don't think so. Honesty can hurt sometimes. I think people appreciate a person who is honest and confident in what they stand by but offer words that point to love. Not everyone likes that emotion to be so heavily discussed, but we all love, love. It's the honest truth.

There is a balance. Holding your tongue is a discipline. I'm catching on, I think.


GLB said...

hm...insightful post. Leaves lots to think about. I love honesty, and yes, I do love, love itself.

Kate said...

i have always learned to use the honesty sandwich. start with encouragement, put criticism in the center, and then end with more encouragement. Being brutally honest without also being kind can have a very bad effect. I mean, I don't use the honesty sandwich enough. But when I do it is much more effective.

Also, one thing I have learned about being southern is that many opinions (especially negative ones) should be kept to yourself. People will ask for your opinion if they want it or value it. Just pretend you are famous and everything you say can be counted against you. So in many situations no words are better than unwanted ones!