October 7, 2011

longing to go to your lovely place


How lovely is your dwelling place,
O Lord of Heaven’s Armies.
I long, yes, I faint with longing
to enter the courts of the Lord.
With my whole being, body and soul,
I will shout joyfully to the living God.
Even the sparrow finds a home,
and the swallow builds her nest and raises her young
at a place near your altar,
O Lord of Heaven’s Armies, my King and my God!
What joy for those who can live in your house,
always singing your praises.
Psalm 84:1-4

I read this yesterday right after I had been thinking about last semester, when I had just got back from Ireland. I was so incredibly content to be where I was at jbu, not even certain who I was friends with still. There were so many mornings when I would leap out of bed to spend time in the Word. Afternoons when I was all alone in my room and I would talk with Jesus. I would get goosebumps just imagining the day I would be with Him as I sat in his presence. I even laughed during my quiet times because I couldn't get over how much I loved Jesus. I was so full of the Joy of the Lord.

Remembering that sweet time with the Lord makes me sad. I've found myself longing to go back to where I never expected anything, but relied on my Savior as my rock and constant redeemer. When random conversations with old and new friends were little blessings that I would run back to the Lord to thank Him for. I was grateful, satisfied and content. This of course didn't last all that long and with distractions I was off wandering and wondering just what the Lord wanted for me, for my life.

So here I am, realizing that all He's ever wanted was my heart. Every inch of it. I want to go back to the whispered prayers throughout the day, the mornings spent listening to His truth and with every relationship, just a gleeful attitude bringing Him the glory and honor He so deserves.

Back to the place of completeness, where no one could touch me, hurt me or move me. Enthrawled with His beauty and loving grace, I'm seeking to crawl back into His arms to be still and know that He is God.

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