May 22, 2011

Right when I surrender, everything changes.


Don't you love how quick God is to test our willful plea of trusting Him? It's been an eventful last few days...The nanny job I stayed in Siloam for does not appear to be what I will be doing this summer.

I am wondering more than ever what I am doing here? After calling my dad for advice (wisest man I know) the choice was placed back in my hands. I've realized that I like to walk through life having others make decisions for me, "just...you tell me what to do". It was scary to come to the realization that what I had always wanted when I was a teenager, is now mine forever. My parents don't have the authority as they used to and I can't rely on them to make decisions for me.

Bills to pay. New car windshield cracked. Jobless.

Okay, Lord....what on earth are you doing?

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