May 20, 2011

I think summer should have resolutions.

People seem to come up with "goals" for the summertime anyway. Along with a few of my summer resolutions, I have a summer quest. A quest to be fully immersed in truth, beauty and love. I've given up on the idea of ever reaching a point of rest from growth and have decided to embrace this mountain I'm climbing called life.

I was talking to a friend last night and as we both admitted our fear of discomfort this summer, we acknowledged that it was our choice. We don't have to be spending our summer in a place that we know will stretch us, but we are. An action of obedience, a step in our faith and an answer to a call of trust.

Scared? Shitless. It's something bigger then Arkansas or Iowa, bigger than nanny or camp counselor, aloneness or fatigue. No, it is much more then circumstantial. It's a dependence for livelihood, emotional contempt, spiritual fulfilment and perpetual growth. I couldn't have been any more prepared to accept this quest. I will never fully understand that either, but I won't have to.

My desires have been replaced with His. I want to be a woman full of wisdom and understanding. I want to walk fully in my identity as Eve. I want beauty that captivates hearts and lures towards Christ. I want to function in a love that captures, covers and speaks truth. I want to grow in strength in the Spirit and less in the flesh. I want courage to stand for righteousness and to walk confidently in holiness.

I've discovered that this life is not all about me, but it is about Someone much greater. My quest for the transformation of my mind, heart and soul. Truth, beauty and love. Real and raw. Vulnerable as I can be, I will do my best to record the good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly of what's always a work in progress; His masterpiece.