Here's something I wrote to her over the summer.
"I wish that I was content with having love invade my heart. That I could give it to God, relinquishing myself to Him, to just go with it. To love and pray and not have to know the purpose, or the why. I just so badly want to be a part of something bigger...Like a little kid wanting to be included. There is something exciting and adventurous, almost dangerous that lures me in. I want to be used and I don't want to ruin it like I've ruined things before.
I just so badly want to see fruits in the lives that I care about so much, and pray for more then I have even prayed for my own family. It sounds so selfish, but I have to know that meeting you or certain people in my life, was not just to challenge and grow me. But that it was something so much bigger then that...For His kingdom, for your heart and for theirs. That God didn't just create me as someone who can empathize with others just to make me feel, but to help others. That gosh darn it, I'm not so obnoxiously optimistic and positive because that’s just who I am, but because I fill a purpose. A purpose much bigger then me. "
Some things have changed since I wrote this. I actually did get to see the fruits of some of my prayers. I believe that there is power behind prayer, and not only are we acting out of obedience when we pray for one another, but we're being blessed in the process. I may never see some of my prayers answered, but I do know that God does answer them. And I have no reason to not trust Him.
|Kate and I enjoying our Friday in Sinnamon coffee shop, in IRELAND.|