July 29, 2010

"Susan, I think we have both reached a very pivotal point. God is doing something big."

It's taken me a long time to realize...

Love is patient and kind.
Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.
It does not demand its own way.
It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.
It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
{1Corinthians 13:4-7}

I read this verse with fresh eyes last night, realizing with each line the times I had not loved. Isn't it sad when you realize you haven't really loved for most of your life? Don't let the familiarity of these words loose its meaning and grip.

If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.
{1Corinthians 13:1-3}

The author of love, who claims to be love is telling me that even if I knew all of His secret plans and possessed all knowledge and if I had faith that could move mountains, but didn't love others...I would be nothing.

There are so many moments in my life that I was nothing, when I could have been something.

Its not just a painful conviction, but it's remembering the times when I could've loved but I didn't. When I said things that were out of my own pride, my own understanding. Grieving the harm that's been done, the brokenness that its caused. But realizing that God's got me, He's taking my hand and leading me on another path...And even my regrets, resentments, and broken friendships won't hold me back.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
{Matthew 11:28-30}

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