July 13, 2010

So much change, I just might have to re-introduce myself

I have been very unteachable in the past, although I'm sure I would have claimed otherwise. As stubborn as an ass (i'm talking about the animal) I was all about whatever I think, ME ME ME. Things have changed, that is for sure and the best clue to this is my relationship with my parents.

We are re-organizing our garage. My dad has painted the floor (yeah i don't get it either), put in new shelves and started the process of de-cluttering. My mom calls me out to the garage with my younger sister to look through some bins. Its a freaking sauna and I hate going through things with my mom and sister because they have emotional attachments to every item we have ever owned. Its beyond frustrating. Out of my already anticipated frustration I made a comment to my sister after she started to put up a fight for me wanting to get rid of one of those pampered chef measuring bowls. We have 3 already, why do we need 4?! I'm getting frustrated just writing this...On to my point, the comment I made to my sister was rude, hurtful and really just a dig at who she is. My mom quickly pulled us two together and with a pleasent tone, rebuked my comment and started to go through her way of solving conflict. (If you have ever had a conflict with me, this is where I get my "hug-it-out" formula)

"Susan, you need to see how what you said hurt your sister. It needs to break your heart, you need to see that you were making a dig at who she is. Don't say you are sorry until you really understand and can actually mean what you say."

I kid you not this was all in the name of pampered chef. You know, it may be something small, but its how my mom was being a mom and teaching her kids a right way to deal with conflict. Honestly, it's with the minor conflicts that we are prepared for major ones to come. Ignoring my mom, rolling my eyes or getting even more frustrated would have been my response a year ago. But after being out on my own, experiencing conflict with others and seeing how not dealing with it the right way damages people, I now see how it is important to heed my moms instructions.

I love my sister, and I care about her. I would never want to hurt her or see her get hurt by anyone else. I'm sorry to ever be one of Satans adversary's just digging at someone because I'm hot and annoyed. Really it's pathetic, but I'm human. Words matter, sometimes more then I realize or care to consider at the time.

It is really important to me that I would be an encouragement to others, even those who have hurt me. I really love making people smile, and helping them see the brighter perspective on life. Speaking words that are uplifting, sending a note to someone in need, or doing something ridiculously embarrassing just to make someone laugh. I really do all those things for others because I care. And yet I have said the most rotten things and instead of uplifting, I've brought others down. With any strength, it has the potential to be a weakness. Just one of the many things I'm learning right now.

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