February 18, 2012

I want to know who You are.

I don't think of God as my Father who desires to lavish me with His gifts and blessings. It's something I know to be true of Him, but I have trouble feeling confident in praying for and believing. Undeserved gifts are hard to receive.

My roommate told me this story about a family she stayed with once on a school trip. The dad of the family took her and some others to a candy store and told them to get whatever they desired. He started to grab handfuls of different types of candy and chocolates and gesture to them, "Whatever you want! Do you like these kind of chocolates, or how about these?!" My roommate didn't know how to react to his unsparing gifts, a kind of generosity that was not met with conditions, but rather was a display of the family's desire to bless their guests...just because.

I realized that I have discredited Gods character and minimized it to whatever fits inside my "God box". He, who is the creator of laughter, fun, smiling and joy is the God whom I call Father. And I want to know His generosity, goodness, gifts and blessings lavished on His children, just because He loves us. I want to know Him this way, and when life hits me to turn my worries and fears into expectations founded on what His Word promises.

I want to believe that He is good and has good things for me. I don't want to believe that His goodness comes only when I grow through painful things in life. I want to stop expecting pain, thinking that it's His only way to grow me into the woman He sees within me. I want to expect times of joy, because He is my portion, my cup of blessing and the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places.
"LORD, You are my portion and my cup of blessing; You hold my future. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance."- Psalm 16:5-6

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