When we are lonely and look for someone to take our loneliness away, we are quickly disillusioned. The other, who for a while may have offered us an experience of wholeness and inner peace, soon proves incapable of giving us lasting happiness and instead of taking away our loneliness only reveals to us its depth. The stronger our expectation that another human being will fulfill our deepest desires, the greater the pain is when we are confronted with the limitations of human relationships. And our need for intimacy easily turns into a demand.
This is what I don't think people understand when they are unhappy with their relationship. Entering into another one will not offer the wholeness that you desire...but there is a type of relationship that will. An eternal, everlasting, never-going-to-walk-out-on-you, relationship with God. And it is the only relationship founded with a faithful promise that when we are fully surrendered and place all of our dependence on Christ (the anointed One) we will live fully satisfied and fulfilled through Him.
This whole dating game that I'm entering is full of lonely people desiring to find a person to give them the wholeness they desire. We are beautiful gifts to one another, but when we demand a love from one another rooted in expectations to fulfill us, we are mistaken. There is only One who can provide that for us and its Jesus Christ.
I'm sold out on that truth and I even look forward to sharing my life with someone else who seeks to acknowledge God as his only dependence and fulfilment in life. I've come to the realization that its what I want. I've never been a list person, so unfortunately if you dig through my box full of old journals and things, you won't find a list of preferences or standards when it comes to dating or marriage. Recently, I've had to think about all of this and I wasn't sure what to think, but God brought clarity to me within fifteen minutes of reading a chapter on relationships in the book "Here and Now". It's left me feeling free and I'm excited.
A man and a woman come together for life, not just because they experience deep love for each other, but because they believe that God loves each of them with an infinite love and has called them to each other to be living witnesses of that love.