August 23, 2010

While enjoying a capellini pomodoro pasta dinner a couple nights ago at Olive Garden, my mom decides to give me marital advice. This is an on going conversation with my mom and is only expected of her to keep it going till even after I'm married. It's a mom thing, right? She's darling and for some reason I not only had the patience this summer, but an unusual openness to her daily words of wisdom that so badly wanted out of her mouth.

"Susan, the only thing you have to offer in your relationship is the unique intimacy you have with your Father in heaven. It's what I have to bring to my relationship with your dad and when me and Him (she points to the ceiling) are off, I have nothing. So make sure you're focus is on God and that your relationship with Him is tight always."

My moms words have been playing around in my head for a few days now. Sometimes we don't know what to do with the truth, especially when it won't fit in one of our self-made boxes (piles would be a better word then boxes for my brain...piles that all touch each other). I don't really know what my marriage "pile" should look like, or what it should hold, but it's like I forgot that my personal relationship with God is valued not only by Him but by those I choose to share it with.

The most cherished compliments I have received from others, have been about my heart and what God's been doing with it. I know what a mess I am, and how really all I have to offer God is a box full of broken glass. But see this summer what I really learned was that each sliver of glass is valued like gold to God. All He wants is for us to let Him have our life, that box of broken glass. He is the master artist and can mold and piece us together into something more beautiful then we can imagine. But it is our choice, to surrender to God and one we have to keep making frequently. I came to this choice when I couldn't see any more beauty in life, cut off from it because of the way I was choosing to live my life. I was desperate to be apart of something beautiful. Suffocated by my own darkness, I was gasping for more of Him, who is the true essence of beauty.

That he no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh to the lusts of men, but to the will of God. {1Peter 4:2}


GLB said...

great post. beautiful photo.

Anonymous said...

agreed. I have no eloquent responses. This is just beautiful. I love your heart, Suz.