June 25, 2010

The Only Necessary Thing

"Prayer is leading every sorrow to the source of all healing; it is letting the warmth of Jesus' love melt the cold anger of resentment; it is opening a space where joy replaces sadness, mercy supplants bitterness, love displaces fear, gentleness and care overcome hatred and indifference. But most of all, prayer is the way to become and remain part of Jesus' mission to draw all people to the intimacy of God's love." - Henri Nouwen

I know this to be true. Its the most recent way I have been growing and changing. I started to pray everyday at the same time. A simple discipline has turned into my favorite time of the day. When I was younger my moms solution to any of my pre-teen problems was to pray. I hated that answer because in my mind, praying was a cop out, wasn't a solution and definitely didn't provide action. I was sorely mistaken.

Not only is prayer communion with our Creator, you really don't grow in your relationship with out spending time with Him. It took me all of my teenage life and a few years more, to come to this realization. I have been wrong in the past and really felt obligated to "guide" people towards this kind of truth. Of course they resisted and instead of me retreating, I tried harder. I'm sure I could psycho-analyze the reasons behind that even further, but I will spare you. I see that its really none of my business, never was and never will be. If someone in my mind needs change, prayer may be my only place. Our personal encounter with God is just that, personal. And our relationship we choose to have or not have with Him is not for someone else to critique and point out flaws. I wish I would have come to this realization a lot sooner.

"Although we often feel a real desire to pray, we experience at the same time a strong resistance. We want to move closer to God, the source and goal of our existence, but at the same time we realize that the closer we come to God the stronger will be God's demand to let go of the many "safe" structures we have built around ourselves."- Henri Nouwen

I battled that this week. I silenced God in every way possible, because I wanted a little more time with my "safe" structures. And all of a sudden I was back where I started, lost and confused and my own hands to blame. I don't ever want to silence God again. Once you have experienced the real intimate union with Him, nothing else can satisfy.

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